What Kind of Friend Are You
~5 min · 20 questions · Free partial report
Friendship is usually described as a feeling, which explains why so little useful is ever said about it. Watched rather than described, it looks more like a set of jobs. Somebody arranges things or nothing gets arranged. Somebody gets told the real version. Somebody says your name in rooms you are not in. Somebody tells you the thing you have been avoiding. Somebody turns up. Those five are separate, they are unevenly distributed, and a group of friends that lasts usually has all five somewhere in it. What this asks is which of them you do, not how much you care. Those are different questions and the second one has no interesting answer, because everybody says yes. Two of the five get confused constantly and are worth separating before you start. The one who is told things and the one who says the hard thing look similar from outside, and they are opposites in direction: one receives and holds, the other gives and risks. Plenty of people are trusted with everything and have never once said the difficult sentence, and plenty of people say the difficult sentence and are told nothing, precisely because they say it. Every question makes you pick one of four, so the result ranks the five jobs against each other. The free result names the one you do. The full report covers what your quietest job costs the people around you, which pairs of jobs sit badly together, and what happens in a friendship where two people are doing the same job and nobody is doing the other four.
Five jobs that get done in a friendship, ranked by which ones are yours. Not about how much you care, which is a question with no interesting answer.
- Find out which of the five jobs you actually do in a friendship
- Separate being trusted with things from being willing to say the hard thing
- See which job you almost never do, and what that leaves uncovered
- Understand what happens when two friends are doing the same job
No signup required to start. The Partial Report is free at the end.
What this test measures
The Organiser
You are why anything happens. The dates, the table, the chasing of four people who have not replied. Without you the group does not stop caring about each other, it simply stops meeting.
The Confidant
You get told the real version, including the parts nobody else has. You ask the question after the one they answered, and what you are told does not travel.
The Champion
You say their name in rooms they are not in. You are loud about what they did, you defend them when they are absent, and you are genuinely pleased when something good happens to them.
The Truth Teller
You say the thing the others are thinking and will not say. You disagree with your friends to their faces, early, and you accept that this makes some conversations shorter.
The One Who Turns Up
You are physically there. The hospital, the move, the three-hour drive on a working day. You do not always know what to say and you have never treated that as a reason not to come.
Discover where you stand on each dimension.
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From first click to report.
The process is simple: you respond, the system calculates, and the result appears. No prior signup, no form, no waiting.
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Click "Start for free"
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Answer the questions
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| Free and paid, side by side | Partial Report (free, always) | Complete Report ($4.90) |
|---|---|---|
| Interpretive text per dimension, generated from your answers | ✓ | ✓ |
| Raw score for each dimension | ✓ | ✓ |
| One-paragraph overview reading | ✓ | ✓ |
| Everything in the Partial, expanded to 3–5 paragraphs per dimension | — | ✓ |
| Percentile per dimension, compared to reference norms | — | ✓ |
| Inter-dimensional chart with accessible data table | — | ✓ |
| Applied recommendations: career, relationships, self-care | — | ✓ |
| Certificate with public verification and PDF download | — | ✓ |
- ✓Everything in the Partial, expanded to 3–5 paragraphs per dimension
- ✓Percentile per dimension, compared to reference norms
- ✓Applied recommendations: career, relationships, self-care
- ✓Certificate with public verification and PDF download
You only pay after completing the test, if you want to go beyond the Partial.
- ✓Interpretive text per dimension, generated from your answers
- ✓Raw score for each dimension
- ✓One-paragraph overview reading
- ✓Free trial of the Integrative Chat, unlocked by your first test
Payment via PIX (instant) or credit card. Access for 1 year. After that, the report stays visible in read-only mode.
Target Audience
Anyone who has looked at a group of friends and wondered what they are for in it
Recommended ages: 16+
Questions the report answers.
Why does the group stop meeting when the organiser stops?
Because everybody else is waiting for a message that always used to arrive. Nobody decides to stop; the invitation simply does not come and each person separately assumes somebody is on it. This is why the organiser leaving a city is more disruptive than the closest friend leaving it, and why the honest test of a group is what happens in the six months after the organiser goes quiet on purpose.
Why does being the one people tell things to get heavy?
Because the traffic only goes one way and nothing about the arrangement makes that visible. Each person tells you their one thing, and each of them experiences a fair exchange, because they see their side of it. You are holding all of them at once and you are the only person who knows that. The way out is not to hold less, which is not really available to you. It is to have one person you do the same thing with, deliberately chosen, since it will not happen by itself.
When does praise stop working?
When it becomes weather. Enthusiasm that arrives for everything carries no information, and the friend learns to route around you for anything requiring judgement, which is precisely the moment they most need somebody on their side. The repair is small: keep the enthusiasm and add one honest sentence about what you would watch. That single sentence is what makes the rest of it mean something.
Why do people stop bringing you things early?
Because they know how the conversation goes and they are not ready for it yet. The difficult sentence lands very differently depending on what came before it, and what usually comes before it from you is nothing. Friends who are visibly on your side first can say anything afterwards; friends who lead with the assessment get told about the decision once it is already made, which is exactly when the assessment is worth nothing.
Is turning up enough on its own?
It is the thing people remember longest, and it is also the easiest of the five to hide behind. Presence is unarguable, which means nobody ever asks the person who came whether they said anything while they were there. If your presence score is high and your confidant score is low, the useful experiment is to arrive as usual and ask one direct question before you leave. It is a much harder version of the same visit.
Who benefits most.
Somebody who does everything and feels distant anyway
Usually a dominant organiser with a quiet confidant score. Being at the centre of a group and being close to the people in it are two different achievements, and the first one is easier to reach and much easier to mistake for the second.
Somebody everybody tells things to
The report is specific about the asymmetry, which builds so slowly that most people carrying it have never noticed. The question it asks is not whether you mind. It is who you would ring.
Two friends comparing results
The interesting comparison is not whether you match. It is whether your quietest job is their loudest, which is where most long friendships get their durability, and whether you have both left the same one uncovered.
Somebody who has just lost a friendship and is not sure why
Worth knowing which job you were doing in it, because friendships rarely end over feeling. They end when nobody is doing one of the five and it has been that way for two years.
Frequently asked questions
Why can nobody reach 100?
Because each of the five jobs is offered in sixteen of the twenty questions, not in all twenty. Even somebody who picks the same job every single time it appears tops out at eighty, and the other four share the remaining twenty between them. The average is twenty each, so a score of forty is twice your share rather than a low number.
Is this the same as the test about how you show affection?
No, and they come apart more often than not. That one is about expression inside one bond: how what you feel gets communicated. This one is about the job you do in a friendship, which is a question about function rather than feeling. Somebody can be the most demonstrative person in a friendship and never once be the one who arranges anything, and somebody who says very little can be the person everybody rings first.
Is being the truth teller the best one?
No, and the report is built to avoid implying it. Each of the five covers something the other four cannot. A group with three truth tellers and nobody who turns up is not a well-run friendship, it is a debate. What matters is whether the five jobs are covered somewhere between you, not whether you personally hold the impressive one.
Two of mine came out level.
Common, and the pair usually describes you better than the top one does. Some pairs are easy and some are not. Confidant plus truth teller is a heavy combination to carry, because you know things and you are the one who says things, and you have to keep deciding which of those wins. Organiser plus champion is close to frictionless.
Can I use this to work out who my real friends are?
No, and that is worth saying plainly. It asks what you do, so everything it returns is a description of you. Running it on somebody else in your head, and then grading them on how they came out, is the one use of this page that would actually cost you something.
Is this built on real research?
No. It is playful. Friendship is studied properly and there are real instruments for parts of it. This is not one of them, the five jobs are ours, and no result here predicts anything about how any friendship of yours will go.
Combine instruments for a fuller profile.
Each test measures different dimensions. The Integrative Chat crosses the results of all tests you complete, revealing connections no single instrument can show.
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No signup, no time limit. The Partial is free at the end.
This is a playful test with no scientific basis. Results are for entertainment only.
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